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I don’t want to live any longer in this world of “the customer is always right.” This is a world that shows the aggressive, the bull-headed, the cruel that they have full license to behave like beasts to get what they want. Half the time, they’re even rewarded for it; “here, ma’am, so sorry for the trouble, please accept this gift card–no charge.”
I want to live in a world that punishes these childish adults as you punish a toddler throwing a tantrum. No candy for you, Jimmy; you’re going home to bed if you can’t mind yourself in public.
Throw a hissy fit because your cashier isn’t moving as fast as you’d like? Find yourself gently escorted from the store until you can show some basic compassion and patience.
Hurl a pen across the table at your signing agent? You’ve just forfeited your right to refinance your mortgage this week. Try again when your temper is managed.
Scream obscenities at the Taco Bell rep because you know it’ll earn you a free soft shell? Here’s your money back; please feel free to play again when you’ve realized fast food is not worth more than the price of human dignity.
I am so sick of accepting–and, in truth, rewarding–these callous behavior patterns in customer service industries. The fact is, the customer is not always right. The customer is often just testing to see what he can get away with. Stop pandering to spoiled children, and show your employees they have more value than their red polo, or how much abuse they can withstand in a 40-hour week.
We are here to provide a service and to make a living.
We are not your punching bags.
I’ve been thinking about this recently. Dealing with returns might be my least favorite part of my job. The most fucked-up part is that there’s really nothing I can do to reward people who are nice. If I tell someone that it’s non-returnable* and their response is “Oh, okay,” they get nothing. I mean, they get my eternal gratitude and I want to lean across the counter and stick a gold star that says “Model Customer” on their shirt, but materially they get nothing. But if someone comes in with a clearance item or something that’s clearly been opened or worn or the thing that they bought two months ago that they have since used until it broke, and they raise their voice and demand to speak to someone in charge, they get their money back and an apology. Because we provide Excellent Customer Service. A while ago there was an incident I don’t want to detail which ended with my boss explaining that there was no way we could give her money back because the item had been used and there would be no way for us to recoup the value of it, and the response was “Well, that’s certainly and interesting idea of customer service. Is there a number I can call to make a complaint?” You can guess the ending of this story right now. And then we get a talk about how we might want to sneak in a dodgy return for someone just because we like them, but that’s against policy, it enables scammers and it’s gonna get us fired. Modern American retail is batshit insane.
*which I have to say is mostly for clearance items, and where the heck are any clearance items returnable?!